How do you balance it all? I mean it's difficult to find the PERFECT balance and to manage to do it all. I feel like either you’re an amazing, nurturing mother or a successful wife, there is no in-between. The women, as myself, who try to have it all by putting one foot into trying to be the perfect mother and another foot into the best wife have a very difficult time to making sure everyone is happy. I mean when is there even time to take care of yourself when you are doing it all? You are either a good wife or a good mom period. You can't have best of both worlds, there is no double dipping. So how do women manage to balance a life of a family as well as stay sexy in their husband's eyes? You have to be loving and caring towards your kids all day and then when evening hits and you and your husband are finally alone for some down time all you want is to relax without all that affection. You already have been strangled with love and cuddled by a toddler, who in their right mind has energy for more? So what's the secret to maintain that "fire" they so call it and keep it ignited between you and your husband while raising kids? The real truth, it's not that simple.
Life does change after having kids. There is so much more to do and less down time. You start arguing about who is going to do what and which errands need to be done first. Then you start arguing about who does more and all goes to hell. How about managing the whole household and working at the same time then having to come home and cater to everyone's needs. Does that sound familiar? Then you lay in bed with your mind rushing with all of the things you need to do the very next day. You are so stressed out you want nothing to do with love and affection. There comes a time when you just start operating as a robot going from one daily task to another. And who here has to give directions to their wonderful significant other of what exactly needs to be done around the house or which errands need to be completed? I spoke with a few girlfriends of mine and it seems like all of us lucked out in that category (sarcasm-speaking). You start learning to sacrifice and sometimes having to put your child second just to save your marriage, but honestly who can do that? I am that type of mom that gives parenting that 100% putting everything and everyone including myself last.
So how do you exactly find that balance of making everyone happy? Well I don't really know the true secret but I know it takes a lot of work from both sides of the relationship. You know that saying that it takes two blah blah blah? Well it does and it consists of a lot of sacrifices from both parties. Not only sacrifice, but also understanding. There needs to be understanding that you are both in it to raise this tiny human and you need to be a team. There shouldn't be a constant battle of who is more important ie: husband or child. Date nights or partner getaways are ideal times to spend together as a couple but when your back your doing the whole family thing together. This is why it's called a PARTNERSHIP.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and exhausted take a step back and ask if it is really worth it? Did you know that women are more likely to get autoimmune disease triggered by stress. STRESS is a big one. You can mentally and physically wear yourself down. So now release that weight off your shoulders and don't be forced to choose in which category, child or husband, you will give that 100%. Work with your significant other on a partnership and make sure you have scheduled alone time monthly. Getting them aboard is so crucial to your relationship, health, and family. I am a huge believer of date nights. That alone time when it's just you and your partner can be game changing in your relationship, so schedule it and do it without any regrets. The benefit? Everyone is happy. You find a happy balance, it may not be perfect but it works. Best part of it your little one will be happy seeing their parents in a healthy, loving relationship.